> > > >Don't be offended by anything in this forward....I just thought that it 
> > was 
> > > >HILARIOUS!! N 
> > > > 
> > > >Hello, 
> > > >My name is none of your damn business. I am suffering from seven rare 
>and 
> > > >deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, fear of being attacked by 
> > > >squirrels, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion chain letters 
>sent 
> > > >to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then 
>that 
> > > >poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a potato growing out of her 
> > forehead 
> > > >will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her 
>redneck 
> > > >parents sell her off to the traveling freak show. Do you honestly 
>believe 
> > > >that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send "his" email 
>to 
> > > >$1000? 
> > > > 
> > > >How frikkin' stupid are you? Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this 
> > page 
> > > >and make a wish, I'll meet the girl (or guy) of my dreams tomorrow! 
>What 
> > a 
> > > >bunch of crap. So basically, this message is directed to all the people 
> > out 
> > > >there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail 
> > > >forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my 
>house 
> > > >and write "I'm an ass" on my forehead in permanent marker in my sleep 
>for 
> > > >not continuing the chain which was started by a knight of the round 
>table 
> > > >and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and 
> > if 
> > > >it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World 
> > > >Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity. 
> > > > 
> > > >If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly 
> > > >amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your closest friends, 
>and 
> > > >this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a 
> > nickel 
> > > >from some omniscient being" forward about 90 times. It's getting old. 
> > Show 
> > > >a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing 
> > to 
> > > >by sending out forwards. 
> > > > 
> > > >THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS: 
> > > > 
> > > >Chain Letter Type 1: 
> > > >(scroll down) 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > >(scroll down) 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > >Make a wish!!! 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > >No, really, go on and make one!!! 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > >Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!! 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > >Wish something else!!! 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > >Not that you pervert!!!! 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > >Have you forgotten why you're scrolling yet? 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > >STOP!!!! 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > >Wasn't that fun? :) Hope you made a great wish :) Now, to make you feel 
> > > >guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don't send this to 
>5096 
> > > >people in the next 5 seconds, you will be kidnapped by ninja elves and 
> > > >thrown off a high building into a pile of manure. It's true! Because, 
> > THIS 
> > > >letter isn't like all of those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!! Really!!! 
> > > > 
> > > >Here's how it goes: 
> > > > 
> > > >*Send this to 1 person: 
> > > >One person will be pissed with you for sending them a stupid chain 
> > letter. 
> > > > 
> > > >*Send this to 2-5 people: 
> > > >2-5 people will be pissed with you for sending them a stupid chain 
> > letter. 
> > > > 
> > > >*Send this to 5-10 people: 
> > > >5-10 people will be pissed with you for sending them a stupid chain 
> > letter, 
> > > >and may form a plot on your life. 
> > > > 
> > > >*Send this to 10-20 people: 
> > > >10-20 people will be pissed with you for sending them a stupid chain 
> > letter 
> > > >and will toilet paper and egg your house 
> > > > 
> > > >Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!! 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > >Chain Letter Type 2: 
> > > > 
> > > >Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a 
> > starving 
> > > >little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no 
> > parents, 
> > > >no goats, and no dick. This little boy's life could be saved, because 
>for 
> > > >every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little 
> > > >Starving Legless Armless Dickless Goatless Boy from 
> > Baklaliviatatlaglooshen 
> > > >Fund. Oh, and remember, we have absolutely no way of counting the 
>emails 
> > > >sent and this is all a complete load of shit. So go on reach out. 
> > > > 
> > > >Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds. 
> > > >Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, 
>you 
> > > >will die instantly! 
> > > >Thanks again!! 
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > >Chain Letter Type 3: 
> > > > 
> > > >Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is 
> > > >absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not 
>as 
> > > >many sad email addicts with nothing better to do. So this is how it 
> > works: 
> > > > 
> > > >1. Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something 
> > > >horrible will happen to you like: 
> > > > 
> > > >*Bizarre Horror Story* #1 
> > > >Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had 
>recentl 
> > y 
> > > >received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the 
> > > >sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood 
>of 
> > > >rotted leaves, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she 
> > smell 
> > > >nasty, she died too. 
> > > > 
> > > >This Could Happen To You!!! 
> > > > 
> > > >*Bizarre Horror Story* 2 
> > > >Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and 
>ignored 
> > > >it. Later that day, he was crushed by an anvil that was dropped by a 
> > plane 
> > > >that just happened to be flying directly above him. 
> > > > 
> > > >This Could Happen To You Too!!! 
> > > > 
> > > >2. Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and Bip. Just send this 
> > > >letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will be okay. 
> > > > 
> > > >Chain Letter Type 4: 
> > > > 
> > > >As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of 
>your 
> > > >friends. 
> > > > 
> > > >Friends 
> > > >Blah, Blah, Blah, 
> > > >Friends, 
> > > >Blah, Blah, Blah. 
> > > > 
> > > >A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he wants 
>his 
> > > >wish of being rich to come true. Now pass this on! If you don't, no one 
> > > >will like you for as long as you live. I mean it - as long as you 
>live!! 
> > > >The point being? 
> > > > 
> > > >*If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you 
>friendless 
> > or 
> > > >luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. 
> > > > 
> > > >*If it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by making them feel 
> > > >guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a 
>dead 
> > > >elephant for 27 years, whose only chance of living is the 5 cents per 
> > > >letter he'll receive if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up 
> > like 
> > > >Miranda. Right? 
> > > > 
> > > >Now forward this to everyone you know or you'll find all your socks 
> > missing 
> > > >tomorrow morning.